Surgery Fears
by md1347
Summary: Night before Noah's surgery. Noah waits for Luke to come home and when he does, Noah knows he was with Reid. What happens next?
1. Chapter 1

**Surgery Fears**

by Mike Douglas

_Special thanks to nezabudka1 for help with editing the story._

Rating: NC-17 (Adult Language, Sexual Situations – gay sex)

_Disclaimer: Luke, Noah, and all related characters, plots, and locations are property of As the World Turns, Telenext Media, and CBS Television. No profit is made from this fan creation. No copyright infringement is intended!_

-P-

It's the evening before Noah's surgery and he was waiting for Luke to get home. He's frightened that the surgery will not turn out well and he wanted Luke to hold him one last time, just in case. Noah heard the front door open and shut. It's Luke. He can smell his cologne but it wasn't only Luke's cologne, it was Reid's too. Noah's known about Luke and Reid ever since Texas. It's true what they say. When once sense is gone, the other senses get stronger to compensate. He could smell Reid's cologne on Luke all the way over to the couch.

"He's been with him tonight." Noah said sadly to himself.

Luke noticed someone sitting on the couch. "Noah, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you before tomorrow."

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm scared."

"About tomorrow?" Luke sat down next to Noah on the couch.

"Not only about tomorrow."

"About what then?"

"Us."

"Us?"

"Yes, if something happens during the surgery tomorrow, I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. I feel really bad for treating you like shit for months. I'm really sorry, Luke." Noah was very contrite.

"Don't say that Noah. Your surgery will go fine." Luke put his hand on Noah's leg.

"You don't know that. It may not work or worse."

"You will see again."

"When you were in the wheelchair, did you think you'd ever walk again?"

"Point taken." Luke could see that Noah had started crying again. "Why are you crying?"

"I love you, Luke. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know you didn't, Noah."

"Could I... could we... forget it. I'll call a cab." He started pulling out his phone.

"You want to stay here tonight?"

"Yes, I... I just need you to hold me."

Luke pulled Noah into a hug. "Sure, Noah, you can stay."

"Thank you, Luke."

-P-

Luke led Noah upstairs to his room and asked Noah if he wanted to take a shower.

"No, I don't think I need one. I should wash my face and stuff." Noah walked into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Luke heard something drop in the bathroom and Noah swearing. Luke, worried that Noah may be hurt, ran into bathroom to find Noah standing there in his boxers.

"I knocked something off the sink." Noah said with frustration when he heard Luke walk in the door.

"Let me get it."

Luke took a good look at Noah in his tight boxers. "Hmm, he's looking good." thought Luke as he cleaned up the glass. "It's all cleaned up, Noah."

Picking up Noah's washcloth, he applied some soap on it and raised it to Noah's chest.

"I can do that."

"It's okay." Luke continued to run the washcloth around Noah's muscular chest. "You've been working out."

"I've had extra time."

"Looks good on you, Noah."

Luke was drooling over Noah's hot body that has become more lean and muscular than when they dated. Luke, remembering how great the sex was, didn't notice that he kept rubbing the washcloth over each nipple but Noah did, and loving Luke's touch on his body, chose not to say anything.

"Thanks." Noah could tell by Luke's change in the pitch of his voice and his breathing that Luke was getting turned on.

Luke lowered his hands as he licked his lips and started rubbing the washcloth around Noah's six pack abs. When he realized he was drooling, he took the wash cloth and went up and down each arm, while concentrating on his muscular arms. He rinsed out the washcloth and then wiped off the soap starting with his arms, abs and then chest. When he was still wiping off Noah's chest, he noticed that Noah's boxers were tenting.

Noah noticed that Luke had stopped washing him off and figured that he knew why. "Sorry." He turned a little red.

"It's okay, Noah." Luke said in a deep raspy voice. He was turned on by the sight of Noah's nearly nude hardon muscular body. He couldn't help it. He was always turned on when Noah's around. It's almost like Noah's scent was an aphrodisiac for Luke.

Luke just couldn't control himself any longer and took Noah's left nipple between his teeth and started to bite on it. Noah moaned and moved his hand behind Luke's head pushing Luke's face into his chest to keep Luke sucking and licking his nipples.

"That's it, Luke, chew on them." moaned Noah.

Luke switched to the other nipple and alternated biting, sucking and licking it. Pulling his attention away from Noah's nipples, Luke straightened up and pulled Noah into a kiss backing him against the wall. Luke sank to his knees and pulled down Noah's boxers and freed his hardon. What a sight. He had forgotten what a wonderful looking cock Noah had. Luke put it in his mouth as Noah moaned and trembled above him.

-P-

Luke only had Noah's cock in his mouth for a short time. "Luke, let's move this into the bedroom." Noah didn't want to cum yet. He wanted to be in Luke.

Luke removed Noah from his mouth and then stood up. He grabbed Noah's hand and walked him into the bedroom.

Noah reached out to Luke, taking off his shirt and slipping off his pants. In that split second in time, Noah had wished for only one thing… his sight so he could see Luke's face and eyes light up as Noah made love to him.

Luke was a little tender from Reid earlier but he didn't complain as Noah shoved a finger in his hole. "That feels good, Noah."

God, how he missed Noah. No matter how much he tried to forget about Noah, everything reminded him that Noah was not there. Even sex. It just didn't flow naturally with Reid as it did with Noah. He felt more turned on by Noah than when he was with Reid earlier in the evening.

Noah noticed right away that he didn't have to lube Luke up. He was horny and wanting one last sex romp with Luke before his surgery that he just didn't care.

He grabbed a condom out of Luke's bedside table drawer and put it on. He moved Luke onto his knees and pushed himself into Luke, without any added lube. He sank down slowly to the bottom, taking his time to enjoy the tightness of Luke's ass. He started fucking Luke slowly at first but soon he was fucking Luke with all he had, until he had something to say.

Noah stopped, bent down and whispered into Luke's ear, "Does Reid make you feel this way when he's fucking you?"

Luke's eyes opened wide and his body tightened with fear. "He knows. How did he find out?" Luke thought to himself.

"It's not..."

"Yes, it is." Noah lifted himself back up and started to fucking Luke again.

As the pleasure began to overtake Luke's fear, he started to relax a little. "How can he fuck me when he knows?" Luke said to himself feeling ashamed.

As soon as Luke started to moan again, Noah stopped fucking and bent down again. "Is he good, Luke? Does he fuck you better than me?" but before Luke could answer, Noah's withdrew his dick to the head and then plunged all the way back in. He fucked Luke like a mad man, with every plunge and withdraw, he made sure he was hitting the right areas that he knew would send Luke into orbit. Luke's moaning and groaning was letting him know he was doing what he intended.

Noah stopped again and whispered in his ear. "Does he make you feel this way, Luke?" Noah didn't immediately start to fuck Luke this time. He wanted to know. "Does he Luke? Does he give you the pleasure that I give you?"

"Noah, it's not like that."

"Don't lie to me, Luke." Noah said loudly. "I can smell his cologne on you and I didn't have to lube you up."

Luke knew he had been caught. Noah turned Luke over on his back and started to slide himself all the way into Luke. Luke moaned in pleasure.

"Does he Luke? Does he give you the pleasure that I give you?" Noah asked again.

"No, he doesn't."

"Good. I'm going to make you forget about him, Luke."

And Noah tried to do just that. He took all his knowledge about what turned Luke on and put a plan into action. He bend down and started to kiss Luke. Luke resisted for a minute before he opened his mouth and let Noah's tongue ravage it. Noah lips and tongue worked its way down Noah's neck but he stopped to gnaw on Luke's neck. He fucked Luke with everything he had. He tried to release all his pain, sadness and fear into the sex. He wanted to wipe out any good memories Luke had of having sex with Reid and replace it with memories of Noah taking Luke to heaven.

"Look at me in the eyes." Noah said, as he was getting ready to cum. He could sense that Luke wasn't looking at him. "Look at me." he said louder. "Cum with me, Luke."

Luke looked into Noah's eyes and saw love staring back at him. They both came at the same time. Both Luke and Noah laid there panting as both tried to calm down after the night of great sex before Noah crawled off Luke and laid on his side crying. He was in so much pain. Luke moved over and spooned Noah.

"I'm so sorry, Luke. I took out my fear and anger out on you and I understand why you found someone else."

"It's okay, Noah I understand."

"No, It's not. It will never be the same ever again."

"It will be okay, Noah. I promise." Both men drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: NC-17 (Adult Language, Sexual Situations – gay sex)

-P-

Noah woke up and felt his wrist.

"My watch, where's my watch?" Noah said in a panic, waking up Luke.

Noah slipped out of bed and started to feel around the floor.

"It must be here." Luke looked at a panicked Noah.

Luke looked on in horror, as Noah was frantically searching for something on the floor. A few minutes later, he found his watch and pressed the button.

"4:15 am" the watch said.

"Oh god, I'm going to be late." Noah went into panic mode.

"It's okay, Noah, I'll take you."

"Do you see what my life has become? I still can't do anything, even after you sent me away, I still can't do it."

"We didn't send you away, Noah. You wanted to learn how to do things for yourself, so we found a place for you."

"You didn't want to deal with me, so you sent me away." Noah said honestly.

Luke could see the hurt on Noah's face. "We didn't want you to go, Noah. You wanted to learn things, so we found you a place."

"It didn't feel that way. I was scared. I didn't know anyone."

Luke looked sadly at Noah on all fours on the floor as Noah started searching for his clothes.

Luke got out of bed and handed Noah's clothes to him.

"I've been independent ever since I can remember because I've had to. Living with the colonel demanded it. It's hard to change a lifetime of how you lived overnight, Luke."

"Come on, let's take a quick shower and get you to the hospital. We can talk later."

Luke dragged Noah into the bathroom. Luke concentrated on cleaning up Noah. He shaved him and got him into the shower. Luke started washing Noah down, making sure he was really clean for his surgery. Noah began shaking slightly.

"I'm sorry, Luke. I'm just so scared."

"It's okay, Noah, you're going to see again."

"You don't know that." Noah's voice full of fear.

"No, I don't but I have faith that you will." Luke tried to sound reassuring.

Luke dried Noah off and helped him get dressed and then dressed himself. He helped Noah out to into the car. When they arrived at the hospital, the nurses took over and helped Noah into his room as Luke went down to get something from the cafeteria vending machines. Luke wanted to avoid Reid this morning, until after Noah's surgery. While they weren't officially dating, he felt some guilt about sleeping with Noah. He wanted to sleep with Noah but knew how wrong it was while he was sleeping with Reid. He went back up to the waiting room and fell asleep in one of the chairs. He slept there until Reid woke him up.

"How's Noah?"

"He's..." Reid stopped as he noticed Luke's hickey. "Uh... he's fine. Surgery was not as clean as I liked but I think it was a success."

"What do you mean?" Luke was scared.

"He bled a bit more than I thought he would. We will have to see if that complicates things."

"So it might not have worked at all?"

"Possibly, but the bleeding could have made things worse. There is no way of knowing until Noah wakes up. We put him in a temporary coma for a couple of days."

"You're saying he could have brain damage?"

"It's possible. This can happen in a surgery like..."

"Stop being so clinical. Stop talking to me like I'm in medical school and talk to me like a real person." Luke demanded.

"There is no way to know how this affected Noah until he wakes up. Until then it's all speculation, Mr. Snyder." Reid got up and walked away.

"Mr. Snyder." Luke thought to himself. "Why did he call me that?"

-P-

Lily walked into the waiting room as Luke tried to comprehend what Reid had just told him. He explained everything he knew to her and cried on her shoulder.

"What happens if this didn't work?"

Lily walked with Luke to the chapel down the hall to say a prayer for Noah as Luke gathered his courage to confess to last night's events.

"I had sex with Noah last night."

Lily looked happy. "You did?"

"Yes, I'm also sleeping with Reid."

"Dr. Oliver... as in Noah's doctor?"

"Yes."

"Luke..."

"Spare me the lecture. I know... and Noah knows. He said he could smell Reid's cologne on my clothes." Luke stumbled.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm not sure. I love Noah so much but I'm scared. I like Reid but not in the same way I like Noah. It's very confusing."

"Well, I've been in that position before." Lily looked sad. "I had hoped you wouldn't take after me and avoid the mistakes that I had made with my love life."

"He apologized last night for everything. I think he really wants to be with me but can I trust him again?"

"That's a tough one, Luke but you just have to go with your gut feeling... What is that on your neck?"

"Huh?"

Lily moved his shirt to get a better look. "You have a hickey on your neck."

"Noah... Oh... oh... that's why Reid acted funny after the surgery."

"So he marked his territory? How romantic... disgusting to look at but romantic."

"I got off easy." Seeing Lily's questioning look, he continued. "He could have peed on me." Luke finished with a laugh.

"Attractive." laughed Lily. "What are you going to do about Noah?"

"I'm going to wait to see what happens when he wakes up."

-P-

Three days later, Noah woke up from his coma. He was anxious to get the bandages off his eyes.

When they did come off, Reid tried to remind Noah and everyone else that recovery was a long process."Remember, you may not see much at first but it should get better over time as the swelling goes down." The last of the bandages came off and the lights were dimmed. "Now slowly open."

Noah opened his eyes to disappointment. "It looks like I have my eyes closed and I'm looking at the sun. I can't see anything."

"That's okay for now," reminded Reid. "The important thing is that you are seeing light."

Noah had hoped that he would be able to see. Reid checked Noah's eyes and he thought everything was good at this point but Noah was still disappointed. Luke could see Noah's disappointment take over his face. Reid finished his examination and left the room, without looking at Luke.

"I know you are upset, Noah."

"I was hoping for more." Noah began to cry.

Luke grabbed Noah's hand. "It's a start, Noah. You can see the light. That's more than you had."

"I suppose" As he drifted back off to sleep.

-P-

Noah was totally depressed when he came to stay at Lily's house to recuperate a couple of days later. Luke was afraid that Noah would crawl back into his shell but he didn't. He answered all of Luke's questions and never fought against him when he tried to help Noah. He could tell that Noah was fighting against himself, against a lifetime of behavior. He knew Noah was trying to change. Luke did his part by letting Noah do as much as he could by himself. They hadn't talked about their relationship since the surgery.

It's been two weeks since Noah came home, he put in his eye drops, like he did daily and decided to take a nap. The headache he had was killing him, so he decided to try to sleep it off. He's been staying in the guest room but he just couldn't get a good night's sleep there. The only bed in Lily's house that Noah felt comfortable in that moment was Luke's. He took off all his clothes, slipped into Luke's bed, naked and fell into a deep sleep.

Several hours had passed when Luke walked into his room and saw Noah sleeping in his bed. He undressed and took a shower. He had been working at the farm and you could tell from the smell. When he was done with his shower, he walked back into his room.

"Luke, is that you?" Noah woke up after he heard Luke in the shower.

"Yes. I didn't wake you, did I?"

Noah opened his eyes and looked in the direction of the voice. Stunned, Noah sat up in bed and continued to look at Luke. Luke looked over at Noah and noticed tears running down his face.

"Is your headache bad?"

"No." Noah took off the covers and sat on the corner of the bed, naked.

"Then why are you crying?" Luke could see that Noah's penis growing.

"You're naked."

"Well, I just took..." Luke, looking back over at Noah, stopped pulling out clothes to wear and walked over to Noah kneeling down in between Noah's legs.

"I can see you, Luke. It's blurry but I can see you." Noah took in Luke's nakedness.

Luke started running his fingers through Noah's hair.

"The first thing I see is your naked body." Noah smiled. He put his hand behind Luke's head and drew Luke into a kiss. When the kiss was over, they had their foreheads touching each other. "I love you, Luke. Thank you for taking care of me and loving me, even though at times I didn't deserve it."

"I'm so happy for you, Noah. I love you too. I know you've been trying very hard to change since your surgery. You didn't fight me at all. I'm proud of you."

"And I'm glad that you let me try to do things on my own before you helped me."

They sat there and just stared into each other's eyes.

"We should probably call Re... Dr. Oliver." Luke didn't want to say Reid's name.

"Um... about that..."

"I haven' t seen or talked to him since your surgery, Noah. Ever since he saw the hickey you gave me." Luke slapped Noah's thigh.

"Ouch." yelled out Noah. "I wanted to re-claim what was mine, Luke."

"I know you think..."

Noah pulled Luke into a kiss before he could finish what he was going to say. He broke the kiss and spat in his right hand lowering it to Luke's cock and started to slowly start to masturbate it. It wasn't long before Luke was hard. Noah continued to jack off Luke.

"I want to be with you, Luke. I want it so bad."

"I think..."

Noah sped up, causing Luke to stop talking. He was beginning to moan as he was approaching his orgasm. He threw his head back in pleasure but Noah suddenly stopped. He moved Luke on the bed. He grabbed a condom out of Luke's drawer and put it on. He lubed himself and Luke up, pulling Luke so his ass was hanging off edge of the bed. He lifted both of Luke's legs and eased himself into Luke as Luke moaned out in pleasure.

As he was fucking Luke, Noah started talking to him.

"I know I have to work on pleasing you out of the bedroom but I'd really like to try to work things out, Luke."

Luke was panting and tried to talk between moans. "No... fair... asking me... nowwwww."

Noah smiled and then brought his face to Luke's neck and gave him another hickey as he continued to fuck Luke long and hard. Luke put his lips to Noah's neck. Noah continued to give all he had to Luke before they were both ready to orgasm.

"Look... look... look... me... look... at... me." Luke finally was able to complete what he wanted to say. Making love with Noah had always been terrific for both Luke and Noah. They knew what buttons to push to make it pleasurable for both of them and their deep love only added to the pleasure. Sex with Reid was more mechanical. It was more about getting off than anything else. It was pleasurable but to Luke, he wanted more. He wanted someone that he could connect too, emotionally and Reid just wasn't emotional.

Noah looked into Luke's eyes as they both began to cum.

"Yes... yes... yessssssss." as Luke came.

Noah came just after Luke did. He relaxed because he knew that Luke initiated the looking into the eyes as they came. That meant to him that Luke wanted to try again. They both crawled under the covers and took a quick nap before they called to setup a doctor's appointment.

-P-

The End.


End file.
